enrages | Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJA7Kl1TVaY hey valenti i found yr new theme song check it

r u sure u dont want to talk about it you seem kinda talkative just a guess

hey whats your favorit food

i swear 2 g i saw you like half an hour ago

so u finally found out the boogeyman lives in your closet huh

hey cutie whatcha wearin

i;mj soryry

hey

[ Since cars and car accidents are a bit of a touchy subject, no one should be surprised that this happened shortly after THIS revelation. ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE BARRAGE OF FURIOUS TEXTS THAT ARE ABOUT TO INTERRUPT YOUR MORNING KARSON. ]

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU (1)
YOU HIT SOMEONE? (2)
YOU HIT SOMEONE!!! (3)
I KNOW YOU'RE A TERRIBLE DRIVER BUT YOU **HIT SOMEONE** (4)
AND YOU MUGGED SOMEONE TOO (5)
WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE WHY HASN'T THAT BEEN TAKEN (6)
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU (7)
I can't even talk to you right now (8)

http://24.media.tumblr.com/deedfea359474e839b81c4396520e79a/tumblr_ms47h3ckqf1rnz1gso1_500.gif
this is what meth does to you btw

Octavia said I had to tell you that I have creepy green blood and that I'm turning into a cool hot pirate fairy and that you're supposed to be my leader now.

http://i.imgur.com/vVgRZ.gif

http://25.media.tumblr.com/833e76c1b41ab4ee9fef134aa68df795/tumblr_mmbg8pE56t1qgd07wo1_500.png for future reference

hi karson!! this is aria just in case you didn't have me down
okay pulse thingies in no particular order (minus the indiana one i told you + sollux):
-something about twelve blood colors blah blah blah with the color names
-once i a was a robot who exploded after hugging some guy
-tavia's mind control doesn't work on me
-i'm legit telekinetic i guess?

then i was talking to that one guy. the one who offered up his house i believe? i think that may be the "davin" soren mentioned now actually. he was talking about gray monster people and the blood thing triggered him and he said there was an order in it and he was rebelling (?????) but that felt wrong.

it was a long time ago. but that feels like a thing. and a name, with that.

hey kid so uh if you wanna come over whenever thats cool just let me know when youre on your way or somethn

[It's basically no one's business at all that Avery's fingers are sweating all over her android screen and she's actually really fucking nervous about this. She smoked when she was young and has smoked with teens before but this is the first time she's ever legit solicited drugs (oh god what the fuck) to an underage kid and it's actually getting to her.

She is legit questioning her morality at the moment.

When she was teasing him about smoking Avery didn't actually expect him to ever give in, but -- well. It's kinda too late to take it back now. Whoops.]

so you know that aaron strider doctor guy whos always postin around the network

Hey, Karson.
Could you bring me some soup?
It's a really weird request. So I'll understand if you can't. Or don't want to. And

Oh shit. It's 4AM.
Uh.
Well when you get this, if you could get me some chicken noodle soup. That would probably be great? Really great, actually.
I can pay you back.

K8rson I kind of k8lled some8ody we kn8w and I need y8u to cov8r for me.

okay so i just want to say
that everything avery is telling you about our adventures to the towers
is a brazen exaggeration

except the fact where i have pics of her flipping her shit
because i totally fucking do

hey have you ever talked to that dj kid?
i remember his puppet

consider yourself updated, o leaderly one

I threw up on a police officer. My life is over.

Edited 2013-10-02 05:34 (UTC)

HEY ASSHOLE OCTAVIA SAID YOURE ACTING REALLY WEIRD. WHATS UP WITH THAT.

hey
you
uh
i know i said that you can't handle a sliding door let alone a paper bag
and i'm not entirely sorry for that but
i am sorry for giving that crazy woman who hates your dog ammo
and i still, you know
don't actually hate your guts and stuff
you're pretty cool for a crazy shouty asshole libertarian
so i
hope there's no hard feelings
ok?

also don't you dare tell anyone i sent you this oh my god

so two deer walk out of a gay bar

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