Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

text;

[wirsinddiejager]

yeah I guess. but lifes fucked up like that. theres always going to be shit you never get to do before you die. you cant worry too much about it or itll fuck you up.

text;

[enrages]

that's why i'm doing shit NOW.
so i don't have regrets later.

text;

[wirsinddiejager]

fair enough. though its not like it matters after youre dead.

text;

[enrages]

why the fuck wouldn't it????

text;

[wirsinddiejager]

you cant have regrets when youre dead. because youre DEAD.

text;

[enrages]

i would be regretful in the last minutes of my life.
and then everyone i know would be all torn up after my death because i never told them that i loved them!!!

text;

[wirsinddiejager]

I wouldnt be torn up. I mean yeah I would be sad if you died but I wouldnt be like OH NO HE NEVER TOLD ME HE LOVED ME.

text;

[enrages]

wow.

text;

[wirsinddiejager]

what.

text;

[enrages]

fuck you.

text;

[wirsinddiejager]

WHAT. are you seriously upset because I dont want to hear that you love me.

text;

[enrages]

i don't even want to talk to you right now.

Re: text;

[wirsinddiejager]

holy fuck you really are. wow.

text;

[enrages]

i don't even want to read your text.
you make me sick.

Re: text;

[wirsinddiejager]

dude I didnt even mean it in a bad way or anything. way to overreact.

[enrages]

[ NOT RESPONDING ]

[wirsinddiejager]

are you actually not reading these. are you just never going to read texts from me again because wow that is crazy.

[enrages]

[ 2 am ]

you hurt my feelings.

[wirsinddiejager]

oh my god are you seriously texting me at 2 fucking am

[enrages]

you hurt my fucking feelings and i've been thinking about it all day!

[wirsinddiejager]

and you only decided you wanted to talk about it when you knew Id be asleep.

[enrages]

NO.
I TEXTED YOU BECAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

[wirsinddiejager]

ok fine if its so important then go ahead and say you love me. I can live with it.

[enrages]

NO I DON'T LOVE YOU.
DON'T TAKE MY LOVE OR FRIENDSHIP FOR GRANTED.

[wirsinddiejager]

then whats the fucking problem.