Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[counterclock]

karkat huh

[enrages]

yes

[enrages]

NO WAIT NO NOPE NO

[enrages]

I MEAN
YES IF YOU
ARE REMEMBERING THAT
NO IF YOU ARE NOT AND PICKED IT UP FROM THE PISSBABY OR MY CO-JESUS

[counterclock]

aint remembering jack shit and even if i was i highly doubt im from whatever stupid universe yall assholes are from

[counterclock]

which is to say i really dont believe im gonna start remembering anything i dont get your stupid pulse things i am the one sane person in this magical girl anime as aria put it

[enrages]

okay then NO.
NO KARKATS HERE FUCK OFF.

[counterclock]

i think its a cute name

[counterclock]

like a kitty

[enrages]

no.

[counterclock]

can i call you kawaiikat

[enrages]

never.

[counterclock]

what do you have against it its your name isnt it

[enrages]

my NAME is KARSON.
or carson.
we don't actually know.
I CHOOSE KARSON.
not some bullshit karkat beepbeepmeow bullshit.

[counterclock]

beep

[counterclock]

beep

[counterclock]

meow

[enrages]

im gonna punch you.

[counterclock]

id let you take the shot if i thought you could do it

[enrages]

i'm gonna teach my dog to punch you.

[counterclock]

crab would never punch anyone hes a gentleman

[enrages]

i'll get kanti to punch you.

[counterclock]

too fuckin late

[enrages]

sorry about that by the way.

[counterclock]

.................yeah well