Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[enrages]

you like toying with your prey.

[counterclock]

shittiest fucking prey god you must think i have horrible taste

[enrages]

yeah, pretty much.

[counterclock]

you realize you just insulted yourself

[enrages]

i'm okay with that if it means i'm also insulting you.

[counterclock]

did your dad not hug you when you were a child

[enrages]

don't fucking talk about my dad, bitch.

[counterclock]

fight me

[enrages]

i will legit fight you over my dad.

[counterclock]

i'll win
i'll bring a knife

[enrages]

i will get shanked fighting your ass over my dad.

[counterclock]

you're a dedicated little man
i guess now's the part where i tell you i don't know how to use a knife

[enrages]

How do you not know how to STAB people?
that seems like the easiest thing in the entire fucking world.
literally, just take the shiny part and push it at someone with some amount of force.

[counterclock]

obviously you know jack shit about knife fighting because theres usually a technique you should use because if you dont you can actually get worse than you would if you didnt have the knife not that i expect you to be able to defend yourself from even the most miniscule attempts at assault

[enrages]

i would legit not survive a knife fight, but by god, i would participate.
i would participate the fuck out of that knife fight.

[counterclock]

i bet i could kill you just by tripping and dropping the knife handle first on your shoe

[enrages]

you'd have to deal with m




okay, we're talking about blood now.
or getting near that.
let's stop.

[counterclock]

oh shit yeah

[counterclock]

um so did you

[counterclock]

like

[counterclock]

play any sports as a child

[enrages]

no.

[counterclock]

oh well ok cool

[enrages]

glad we cleared that up.
no no topics:
1) my family.
2) blood.
most everything else is free game.

[counterclock]

you cant just add triggers after the fact thats not fair