enrages | Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

Skip to Main Content

Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

damn i heard their pate was kinda meh but ok youre the lady here be there at 630 on saturday

y
you're
serious
what
what what
what

wow do i sound like im joking

ok also what colour dress are you wearing i need to match my tie like a prom date

black.

classy

anything else i should know like should i bring you flowers or some gay shit

i will also owe you nothing at all.
this is free food for me, nothing else.

all i want is the pleasure of seeing you recoil at having to sit at a table with me for 45 mins

am i allowed to vomit?

only if u wanna risk getting kicked outta the restaurant then sure

alright fine.
no throwing up.

good boy

you get dessert if u hold my hand and stare lovingly into my eyes for at least forty seconds

ugh this food had better be worth it.

the dessert too.

hey you chose the damn restaurant if you want something else fucking say so b4 its too late duh

hell no, we're doing it.
we're making this happen.

we are making this shit TRANSPIRE

i regret all my life choices.

thats what i was aiming for tbh

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only