Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[enrages]

i will also owe you nothing at all.
this is free food for me, nothing else.

[counterclock]

all i want is the pleasure of seeing you recoil at having to sit at a table with me for 45 mins

[enrages]

am i allowed to vomit?

[counterclock]

only if u wanna risk getting kicked outta the restaurant then sure

[enrages]

alright fine.
no throwing up.

[counterclock]

good boy

[counterclock]

you get dessert if u hold my hand and stare lovingly into my eyes for at least forty seconds

[enrages]

ugh this food had better be worth it.


the dessert too.

[counterclock]

hey you chose the damn restaurant if you want something else fucking say so b4 its too late duh

[enrages]

hell no, we're doing it.
we're making this happen.

[counterclock]

we are making this shit TRANSPIRE

[enrages]

i regret all my life choices.

[counterclock]

thats what i was aiming for tbh