Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[enrages]

i want to throw up

[counterclock]

i know its okay amanda is visceral like that

1/3

[enrages]

brb

[enrages]

[ hours pass.... ]

[enrages]

hkrlp
hrelp
halpf

1/2

[counterclock]

what happened did you trip over your own shoes or hit someone else in your car

[counterclock]

oh fuck plz tell me you arent driving in this state

[enrages]

nonf
no fi dont want to drive,
fifuck thim SEDING SHTI TNOW
ims seeng shit ohg god help.

[counterclock]

whater you seeing

[enrages]

shit mvoing.
thigns moving that hsodulgnt be moving,
i dnt know why theyr moving please dnt let them be mad at me ms sorry.

[counterclock]

nah i think they only get mad when you talk about ron paul so dont do that

[enrages]

ok
infwont.

[counterclock]

good kid

[counterclock]

you also might wanna throw your ron paul shirts away too just to avoid angering them with those as well

[enrages]

id nt want to mvoe,.

[counterclock]

you gotta k-man you gotta throw those shirts away so they dont come get you and try to eat them off you man

[enrages]

n
no sim jsut going to lie here.
for awhile.

[counterclock]

ok lil man heres what were gonna do you got five minutes

[counterclock]

five minutes to just chill ok

[counterclock]

then you gotta get up and get rid of all the demons

[counterclock]

u can do it karson i beliebe in you

[counterclock]

just gotta get up and throw them out the window or something nice and easy and the demons will follow them out and you wont see shit anymore see easy as pie

[enrages]

[ two hours later... ]

cant get up...,

[counterclock]

ok how about this for every step you take ill send you a picture of my cat how does that sound

[counterclock]

sparkles is cheering u on man