Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[enrages]

id nt want to mvoe,.

[counterclock]

you gotta k-man you gotta throw those shirts away so they dont come get you and try to eat them off you man

[enrages]

n
no sim jsut going to lie here.
for awhile.

[counterclock]

ok lil man heres what were gonna do you got five minutes

[counterclock]

five minutes to just chill ok

[counterclock]

then you gotta get up and get rid of all the demons

[counterclock]

u can do it karson i beliebe in you

[counterclock]

just gotta get up and throw them out the window or something nice and easy and the demons will follow them out and you wont see shit anymore see easy as pie

[enrages]

[ two hours later... ]

cant get up...,

[counterclock]

ok how about this for every step you take ill send you a picture of my cat how does that sound

[counterclock]

sparkles is cheering u on man

[enrages]

cant

[counterclock]

yes you can little dude its totes ok look

[a picture of sparkles, obviously meowing at the camera]

shes saying get up karson save yourself

[enrages]

cant
cant cnatg cant imjust leave me to die hree
you can get ur moeny bck from my life insurence polcisy

[counterclock]

i dont actually think thats a legally viable solution sorry