Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

text;

[enrages]

oh my god you're drunk.
that's why you're typoing so much.
that's what's happening, isn't it?!

text;

[earnedmystripes]

wyh why doyuo csre

text;

[enrages]

are
you
DRINKING AWAY YOUR PROBLEMS?!
DRUG FREE IS THE WAY TO BE, ASSHOLE.
ESPECIALLY WHEN DEALING WITH FUCKING COPS ABDUCTING PEOPLE AND TEXTING ADOLESCENTS AT NIGHT.

text; 1/2

[earnedmystripes]

tihs comign from thw kid whi txts wile dirivng witchs illegal adn culd aCTULY KILL SOMOne

but no your gona fkcnng jugde me for getting drnunk

mayb wehn your almost forty wth nthing rely ahed ofyu adn liv lone anf rarly see your famly

and th only giod thing youve ever don wuth your life trns out too b a bIG FUVKIgn liE

oyu miht wana be drink for a nite too

fuck

[earnedmystripes]

shudve iven you tahht tikit when ih ad the chance

[enrages]

holy
shit.
uh, dude, do you have like
someone you can talk to?
someone who isn't a dumbshit 16 year old?
like a wife or children or parents or something?