Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[enrages]

Oh, shut up. [ eyeroll as he inhales and starts a coughing fit all over again. ]

[counterclock]

[Avery slowly eases herself onto the bed next to him, leaning back against the plethora of pillows. She pats his back idly, waiting for him to stop coughing; her eyes drift to where Crab and Sparkles are playing on the carpet, not too far away. It's nice. Minus the, uh. Coughing fit.]

You're hitting it too fast. What did I goddamn say about relaxing?

[enrages]

Oh, shut up. [ wheeze. Despite being a little bitch 24/7, he's actually grateful for the backpats. Even if he'll never admit to it.

wheeze some more and then he GOES FOR ANOTHER HIT TO BE THE ULTIMATE BADASS no this was a bad idea ]

[counterclock]

[Oookay that's enough. Avery gently wrestles the pipe away from his grasp, snickering a little.] Dude, you should not be taking this much on the first time. You're gonna get wrecked.

Shit I think you've had more than I have. [Lazily, she draws another puff, trying to remedy this.