Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[counterclock]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/deedfea359474e839b81c4396520e79a/tumblr_ms47h3ckqf1rnz1gso1_500.gif
this is what meth does to you btw

[enrages]

w
wh
what
thwat wth fuck am i witnessing

1/?

[counterclock]

hell

[counterclock]

you are witnessing hell my sweet precious child

[counterclock]

dont do meth

[counterclock]

or make meth

[counterclock]

also meet me at the icecream place ok its important

[enrages]

why are we talking about m

[enrages]

yeah ok.
be there in 20.

[counterclock]

good


[And there she is, sitting at a vacated table, hanging out with whatever Karson's favourite ice cream is in a waffle bowl (because like fuck she was holding a cone for him). She's sucking on her twist as always--butterscotch dip this time--and looking absently through her phone as she waits.]

[enrages]

[ He shows up, looking as exhausted as ever, but slightly more functional. Forever the conversational gentleman, Karson sits and takes his ice cream. There's a brief moment where he offers Avery a nod of thanks before wolfing down the two scoops of Superman. ]

[counterclock]

[She lets him eat. She has time.

And then she makes grabby fingers at him.] Lemme see your phone.

[enrages]

Why. [ stare ]

[counterclock]

Because iPhones have better video quality.

[enrages]

...It's brand new. Be careful. [ He hands it over. ]

[counterclock]

Dude, I know how to handle a fucking phone. [She fiddles with it for a minute or two before standing up and walking around to sit next to him, placing the phone propped up between them.]

Watch this.

[enrages]

[ He leans closer, watching, and the horror begins... ]

[enrages]

[ ...and the horror continues..... ]

[enrages]

[ ...and as soon as he thinks it's about to end, the next song starts. ]

[enrages]

[ foam hand ]

[enrages]

[ foam hand ]

[enrages]

No, oh god. I'm. No.

[enrages]

[ and he just whispers "no" until the end of the video ]

[counterclock]

Don't do meth, Karson. [But she is not immune, oh no. Not at all. Not by far.

Avery has seen the horrors of the internet in bulk.

But this.

This?

Cannot be compared to. This is just genuine awfulness mixed up in one horrible uncanny valley with oversexualized teddy bears and cultural appropriation.

Her face is blank as she eats her icecream and provides moral support. Her pupils are unusually large. She feels the need for a stiff drink.

This is their Vietnam.

When the end of the video comes, Avery has nothing to say. Not even nasty passive aggressive comments about how Karson doesn't remember that her mom is in jail for having a meth lab and being a methhead. Not even those. And she planned on pelting him with those for at least half the night.

No, no. She's silent. She bows her head and a drop of icecream melts down her hand and she doesn't even have the heart to lick it off.]

Yeah, [she says finally, in agreement of the multiple 'no' sentiment.]

[enrages]

[ Cautiously, with a shaking hand, he (so carefully so gently) turns his iPhone 5 off and slips it into his pocket. Avery and Karson sit, side by side, witnessing the horrors of the world burned on their retinas.

A small child with his family of three attempts to sit at the free half of the table, but one stray gaze into Karson's eyes reveals the fact that no, they really didn't want to sit there, and yes, they were going to get in their cars and drive home immediately.

All life in the immediate vicinity begins the long and arduous procession to death-- all bugs live a few days longer before shriveling up and expiring; plant life is devoured heartlessly by dying bugs within the week; the bench never stood a chance. ]

I... [ He remains silent for the first time in his life. There are no more words. No more thoughts. All words are gone; all thoughts have died.

There is nothing that remains. ]