enrages | Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

cmon valenti are you going to be mad at me for thinkin about you and not how much mmoney you owe me

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHH
FINE
I'M LISTENING TO THE FUCKING SONG.
IT'S MEDIOCRE AND REPEATS ITSELF.
BRILLIANT.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

dude you did not just fuckinh call gorillaz mediocre

i believe i just did.
whatcha gonna do about it.

[there is a picture of ron paul, printed out and held in someone's hand]

[there is a picture of a seemingly innocuous toilet with the seat down]

[there is a picture of someone's hand lifting up the toilet seat, and inside is the picture of ron paul submerged in the toilet water]

[there is a picture of the toilet seat fully up, the slowly disintegrating picture still submerged in the toilet bowl, and a hand giving the sodden visage the middle finger]

WH
WHATHWWHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP THAT
WHAT THE FUCK THATS SUCH A WASTE OF PAPER AND RON PUALOHYMGUFING WOWHAT EHWY WHYA RE YOU FOING TDRHSFI STOP THIS THING STIP ITAT ONCE OH M YUFKCING GOD.

[there is a picture of a completely unrelated longhaired white cat rubbing against the base of the sink next to the toilet, slightly blurry, meowing at the phone]

oops

[ that cat
is very
cute
but
ron paul is cuter ]

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[well she might as well

to continue the theme

there is a picture of a sodden, rumpled piece of paper with the muddied visage of ron paul on it. it is sitting in a cat's litter box collecting clay clumps and there is a visible cluster of lumps right next to it]

OH MY GOD DSFHGDFN ON ON OSTOP
THE STATE OF THAT LITTERBOX IS ATROCIOUS YOUR POOR FUCKING CAT AND POOR RON PAUL AND EERVRGDHFSD DFNO FSTOPPP

[well if you insist...

there is a picture of a cat scoop and the lumps of cat poop have now been redistributed to the top of ron paul's face instead of merely beside the paper]

fdk;sjghdfjklhOHFLDKJGHLDFHSGOI DFYOIUYRSUIOY GDLFSJHGDFJHSGJDFHSLKJFDSOIUFYDOSUIAY8OF76ARYOT 7RA87RT8OA7ERTGFUDSIA[FYU9DSAO;FDIASYFHDSJATFOD7STOF87 TDSOF87ADST8F7DS

[ this is the textual equiv of a scream ]

[there is a picture of a clean litterbox in the background and a bag in the foreground, but, but what's this--]

[there is a close-up of the bag. on the very top of the litterbox cleanings is a rumpled wet piece of paper

the picture on it is smeared in clay lumps and barely visible

but you know]

no
no more
fine i like your music NO MORE I CANT HANDLE ANYMORE OH GOD WHY NO MORE NO MORE YOU WIN FINE OKAY YOU WINN

[there is a picture of the bag tied and in an outside trash can. au revoir, libertaridouche]

is that why you're texting me?
to make me suffer?????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmZvOhHF85I

not clicking it.

you know my printer can print more than one picture right

i have to go bye.

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