Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[enrages]

considering the fact that i have a delivery job, i'm not actually surprised.
though the fact that you may or may not be stalking me is kinda terrifying.

[counterclock]

omg really where do u work

[enrages]

yeah sure let me tell you so you can stalker me harder.

[counterclock]

wow ok im not stalking you mr paranoid

[enrages]

i have every reason to be paranoid.
i dont even know you that well.
how do i know you're not some terrible serial murderer?

[counterclock]

because serial murderers actually work at getting on your good side

[enrages]

you might be some sort of sadist.

[counterclock]

didnt know u were so interested in my fetishes bb

[enrages]

i need to know them so i can avoid them.

[counterclock]

my fetish is being avoided

[counterclock]

what now tit face

[enrages]

not talking to me anymore would be a win-win situation.

[counterclock]

no can do sry

[enrages]

why
not.

[counterclock]

i have a condition

[enrages]

kill me now.

[counterclock]

my pain is not all about you jerk

[enrages]

don't want to hear about your crazy psychomurderer kink conditions.

[counterclock]

why are you convinced im a murderer wouldnt i have killed you by now if i wanted you dead

[enrages]

you like toying with your prey.

[counterclock]

shittiest fucking prey god you must think i have horrible taste

[enrages]

yeah, pretty much.

[counterclock]

you realize you just insulted yourself

[enrages]

i'm okay with that if it means i'm also insulting you.

[counterclock]

did your dad not hug you when you were a child