enrages: (my face is too holy for your bullets)
Karson Valenti | {Karkat Vantas} ([personal profile] enrages) wrote2013-06-16 02:16 am
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Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*
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enrages: (walrus today we become assassins)

[text]

[personal profile] enrages 2013-09-18 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
memories of weird blood color things counts too.
don't worry, you'll start to remember eventually, though.
then we'll be full 100% soulbond.
gogoghostpowers: ([F] i thought i heard somebody cry)

[text] christ almighty, i thought i posted this 8 hours ago

[personal profile] gogoghostpowers 2013-09-19 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh boy.

So long as I don't actually turn into a cool hot pirate fairy, I think I'm okay with that.
enrages: (boys becoming men; men becoming wolves)

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[personal profile] enrages 2013-09-20 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
i think hot pirate fairy status might be reserved for jesus figures only.
aka me and octavia.
you're safe.
gogoghostpowers: ([F] i don't believe...i don't believe)

[text]

[personal profile] gogoghostpowers 2013-09-20 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, setting aside the fact that you're STILL not Jesus or the Virgin Mary

are you actually turning into a pirate fairy too?
enrages: (we must travel to the moon)

[text]

[personal profile] enrages 2013-09-20 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
...i think so.
actually.
i know octavia and i were close, and i know we worked together.
so why wouldn't i be a pirate fairy?
gogoghostpowers: ([F] walking w a dead man (w a dead man))

[text]

[personal profile] gogoghostpowers 2013-09-20 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know, I guess I just didn't think you'd be a pirate fairy. Maybe you were like a rival of hers or something--like a ninja leprechaun. or something.
enrages: if you want to stop getting arrested (stop driving stolen cars)

[text]

[personal profile] enrages 2013-09-20 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
ughughurhg don't fuck up my mental picture!!!
i've already got the whole thing sorted out in my mind, now you're just going to fuck it all up!
DONT JINX ME BRO.
gogoghostpowers: ([F] i'm all dressed up)

[text]

[personal profile] gogoghostpowers 2013-09-20 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
what, are you picturing yourself as some sort of little leprechaun with wings telling people to walk the plank with a katana?




oh my god, now I'm picturing it.
enrages: if you want to stop getting arrested (stop driving stolen cars)

[text]

[personal profile] enrages 2013-09-20 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
oh my gooooddddddddddddddddddddddnoooo stop stops topst this is awful you are ruining everythingggg.
gogoghostpowers: ([F] waitin for an invitation to arrive)

[text]

[personal profile] gogoghostpowers 2013-09-20 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
I am so sorry. This is the worst thing I've ever imagined.
enrages: (walrus today we become assassins)

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[personal profile] enrages 2013-09-20 05:49 am (UTC)(link)
i'm just standing here screaming into my phone until the end of time.
my vocal cords are tearing themselves out my throat in disgust.
never text me again oh my god.
gogoghostpowers: ([F] waitin for an invitation to arrive)

[text]

[personal profile] gogoghostpowers 2013-09-20 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm never going to picture anything ever again.
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