Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[enrages]

they are truthful.
truthinessful.

[eras]

truthinessful?
so when exactly was the last time you slept

[enrages]

h
hah
hahahahahahaaahahaa
months
years
weeks
man i dont even fuckin know anymore.
i fell asleep after the mine thing, and haven't slept since.
i cant count time anymore, it doesnt work right.

[eras]

i take it saying karson go the fuck to sleep would not actually help any

[enrages]

i wish it would.
i
wish.
so hardcore.
there is nothing i wish for more than "go the fuck to sleep" actually working.
it's why i havent been running any film club meetings at school so far.
i just cant
do shit like this.

[eras]

maybe you will eventually gain the ability to function on no sleep
since the ability to stay up is pretty much
um
ridiculous otherwise

[enrages]

i


fucking hope.
i mean
it's not as bad after the two week mark.
that's when it starts sucking less.
maybe thats functioning??

[eras]

please tell me you're not driving still

[enrages]

uh.

[eras]

omfg do you want me to text travis and kanti
because i will
you should NOT be driving right now
sleep deprivation + driving = dangerous!

[enrages]

i have to drive!!!!!!
it's part of my job!
i need the fucking money!!

[eras]

and how much money will you be out if you get in an accident and/or kill someone?
and what will money matter if you kill yourself?

[enrages]

what am i supposed to do then??

[eras]

1) get a job that doesn't involve driving in any way
2) get someone else to drive you for the time being

i know neither option is really the easy way but you're kind of endangering yourself and others right now

[enrages]

do you think i can teach my lil dog to drive

[eras]

no, i do not.
that would probably be even more dangerous than your current plan.

[enrages]

maybe i should have children and teach them to drive.

[eras]

that would take you at least 16 years
surely you know someone who can drive you until and unless you gain the ability to function w/o sleep