Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[counterclock]

#27 is my fave

[enrages]

SCAMPER OFF YOU JUNKIE.

[counterclock]

hey kid wanna inject some weed

[enrages]

NO, GRASS IS FOR MOWING.

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please please please call me a ganja gremlin next time we go out

[enrages]

only if you tell me what the fuck mmyv is.

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aw damn i was gonna ask you if you knew what it is i aint got a fuckin clue

[enrages]

maybe it's another type of drug.

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maybe google can tell us

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ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaukjsgnlkjsdndg

[counterclock]

it means marijuana makes you violent holy fuck ahahaha

[enrages]

what the fuck that's not even accurate.
DON'T DO DRUGS-- YES I AGREE, BUT SERIOUSLY, BACK UP YOUR SHIT WITH GOOD EVIDENCE.

[counterclock]

have you ever tried weed karson

[enrages]

no, and i'm not going to!

[counterclock]

uhhuh

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what are you 14 youve got time

[enrages]

16 and no
not interested.

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pot is rly relaxing u could probs stand to chill out once in a while

[enrages]

don't care.
don't need it.

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this from the guy who was gonna try meth to help him sleep

[enrages]

will weed help me sleep

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was all that white space really necessary

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look i cant promise anything but its a really chill experience and if it doesnt help you sleep at least itll help you relax and take the edge off a bit

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no ones gonna rob or gang rape you just do it with me in your car or someth

[counterclock]

uh i guess you could come to my apartment if you wanted idk