Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[counterclock]

hey cutie whatcha wearin

[enrages]

six bottles of nyquil and the blood of my enemies.

breaks the fourth wall like an asshole

[counterclock]

didnt i JUST tell u not to drink that shit

[enrages]

cant be tamed.

[counterclock]

ok miley

[enrages]

dont judge me.
i dont need your judgement shit.

[counterclock]

i only am judging you for quoting miley cyrus

[enrages]

it's a good song.

[counterclock]

ok wait you wont listen to queen or ben e king or the beatles but youll listen to MILEY CYRUS

[enrages]

it plays on the radio at work ok.

[counterclock]

im going to find you and i swear 2 god i am going to make you listen to some decent music

[enrages]

*never*

[counterclock]

ok srs ill ease you in gently dw we wont go right to dubstep well do something easy like frank sinatra first

[enrages]

ill listen to your shitmusic if you buy me five more bottles of nyquil

[counterclock]

dude i want you to listen to good music i dont want to be hunted down by the cops for being suspected of having a meth lab like my mom

[enrages]

wait is that serious

[counterclock]

oh

[counterclock]

uhhhh yeah

[counterclock]

moms been in and out of jail since i was six the more you know

[enrages]

jesus christ.
that fucking sucks.
do you have a dad??
or like older siblings or anything?

[counterclock]

sis and i went to live with my gran

[counterclock]

she died three years later tho

[enrages]

oh god.
that's fucking awful.
what did you guys do???

[counterclock]

sis took care of me

[counterclock]

the fuck else were we gonna do yknow