Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[counterclock]

true story my cat likes popsicles

[enrages]

omg i will bring her some.
what's her fav?

[counterclock]

uhhhh idk she's a cat do cats have favourite popsicle flavours

[enrages]

omfg you are terrible how do you NOT KNOW WHICH ONES SHE LIKES BEST?!

[counterclock]

idk because im not a fucking sociopath maybe

[enrages]

IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF BEING A SOCIOPATH.
WANTING TO GIVE YOUR ANIMAL WHAT SHE WANTS IS EMPATHY.
GET YOUR FUCKING DEFINITIONS RIIIIGHT.

[counterclock]

fuck you man that kind of attention to detail is the shit that breeds skinning people so you can make a coat out of them

[enrages]

what
what
WHAT
WHAT
WHATWHATWHATWHATWHTHAWHHTWHATHAHWTWHHHOW DID YOU EVEN DRAW THAT CONCLUSION1?!

[counterclock]

my cat doesnt have a favourite fucking popsicle karson and even if she did i wouldnt know because i dont spend ten years letting my cat sample different icecreams to see which one she likes the most that is something crazy people do

[enrages]

alright fine.
there's nothing wrong with being crazy.
if you're not going to do it, i'll do it.

[counterclock]

..................do what

[enrages]

figure out what your cat likes best.

[counterclock]

youre not serious

[enrages]

i'm more serious about this than i have been about anything in my entire life.

[counterclock]

i bet you say that about literally everything though

[enrages]

im going to spend my own money on the popsicles.

[counterclock]

.................karson no

[enrages]

that's how serious i am.

[counterclock]

i will beat you

[enrages]

i'll accept those beats.
that's how fucking serious i am.

[counterclock]

fucking hell k

[enrages]

someone needs to do this.
someone needs to handle the responsibility.
i am that someone.

[counterclock]

karson stop

[counterclock]

you are the hero locke deserves but not the one it needs right now

[enrages]

cant stop wont stop
brb going to the store.