Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[enrages]

okay
uh
okay fuck.
okay, i understand.
thanks.

[eras]

do you think you have gray blood

[enrages]

i






maybe.

[eras]

why d0 you think that?

[enrages]

okay, i'm about to talk about something really really triggering.
and you can't judge me.
and i might freak out and not respond for a bit and that won't mean i hate you.

[eras]

i won't judge you
i promise

1/2

[enrages]

okay.

[enrages]

my blood's wrong.
there's something wrong with it.
there's always been something wrong with it.
i *know*.
i've always known, even when i was little, even before this whole network thing.
when i was just a little brat climbing trees and shit and being dumb and this whole
blood phobia thing
has always been there in my life.
i never played sports.
i only did band because even if i fell, i could wear jeans and long sleeves and no one would see my blood or whatever.
and

urhgurhglshfdkljghdflksjghdf godsjlsmnsso fuckekd up afjdjghdf i akdgd DO YOU UNDERSTNAD?!?
what iam gettTINNG AT HERE?!!?? irtjju oka yi need to go sit down and pet my dog brb

[eras]

you think your blood color is wrong
i get what you're getting at, yes

i'm not judging you for what it's worth
judging people based on blood color seems pretty dumb
(i hope you feel better by the time you read this)

[enrages]

[ 20 MINUTES LATER ]






ughblood.
blood is
just so gross.
i can't handle it, it's so fucked up, no one should ever even TALK about this shit rughrughurhgr.

[eras]

how about i don't mention the b word again unless there is a dire need

[enrages]

good life plan.
urhguhr why do we have to be the reincarnations of people who were obsessed with the b
why

[eras]

idk!!
could i even have the b
i mean
do robots have that
??????

at least WE don't need to be obsessed w/ it
we can focus on the important stuff
like ice cream and indiana jones
and sharks i guess

[enrages]

oil??? maybe????


also apparently i have been confirmed for jesus.
this isn't me guessing anymore.
mac said he remembered me as jesus-y.

[eras]

seri0usly?

[ SHE WAS LIKE 100% SURE THAT WAS A DELUSION... ]

i guess it's really appropriate you're being soulbond leader then?

[enrages]

apparently octavia was also my soulbond co-jesus, but that hasn't been confirmed by a third party yet.

[eras]

but you're the only one leading this expedition of soulbonding right

[enrages]

yeah.
between the two of us, she would be the worst co-soulbond leader ever conceived.
being a jesus and being a leader are two very different things that require very different traits.
i happen to have all those traits.
she does not.

[eras]

okay as long as that's a thing
no offense meant
i'm 0kay with you being soulbond leader

[enrages]

i'm glad.
i guess.
soulbond leader is a lot of responsibility, and it would suck if you guys just started chipping away at my authority, which would make all of us ridiculously ineffective at responding as a group, and probably result in our deaths.

[eras]

well so far you haven't asked me to do anything that doesn't make sense
although if you plan to have us responding as a group we should probably know one another better
on the whole i mean
idk that i know everyone you mentioned beyond names

[enrages]

i didn't even think of that, woah.
okay, yeah, that's a legit idea.
what do we do?
have some kinda
network get together??
an official meeting to talk out strats????

[eras]

a get together would probably be useful
and some sort of talk about strats sure
do we have strats
is that a thing we have
see i dont even know that!

[enrages]

we are gonna HAVE strats.
we might not have them right now, but strats are coming.
we will have an A strat.
a B strat.
and even a C strat.
we will be ready for any and all challenges we might possibly ever face.

[eras]

in that case i look forward to the get together
and the strats
does this mean soulbond leaders have to have party planning skills too