Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[enrages]

apparently octavia was also my soulbond co-jesus, but that hasn't been confirmed by a third party yet.

[eras]

but you're the only one leading this expedition of soulbonding right

[enrages]

yeah.
between the two of us, she would be the worst co-soulbond leader ever conceived.
being a jesus and being a leader are two very different things that require very different traits.
i happen to have all those traits.
she does not.

[eras]

okay as long as that's a thing
no offense meant
i'm 0kay with you being soulbond leader

[enrages]

i'm glad.
i guess.
soulbond leader is a lot of responsibility, and it would suck if you guys just started chipping away at my authority, which would make all of us ridiculously ineffective at responding as a group, and probably result in our deaths.

[eras]

well so far you haven't asked me to do anything that doesn't make sense
although if you plan to have us responding as a group we should probably know one another better
on the whole i mean
idk that i know everyone you mentioned beyond names

[enrages]

i didn't even think of that, woah.
okay, yeah, that's a legit idea.
what do we do?
have some kinda
network get together??
an official meeting to talk out strats????

[eras]

a get together would probably be useful
and some sort of talk about strats sure
do we have strats
is that a thing we have
see i dont even know that!

[enrages]

we are gonna HAVE strats.
we might not have them right now, but strats are coming.
we will have an A strat.
a B strat.
and even a C strat.
we will be ready for any and all challenges we might possibly ever face.

[eras]

in that case i look forward to the get together
and the strats
does this mean soulbond leaders have to have party planning skills too

[enrages]

ugh i dont want to throw a party.

[eras]

should i keep calling it a get together instead

[enrages]

call it a meeting.
that sounds more formal.

[eras]

where would this hypothetical meeting be held

1/2

[enrages]

IN HELL.

[enrages]

no not really that just sounded really dramatic, and i wanted to say it.
i guess my house?
you assholes bring your own food, though.
and i guess i should wait and figure out a day when my dad won't be around.

[eras]

lol
sometimes you have to go for the dramatics
otherwise i suppose life would get boring!
not that we are really in danger of that tbh
also okay!
sounds cool
doing it when the non number guy is not around is probably wise

[enrages]

honestly, he would probably think we were either doing drugs or selling drugs
rather than jump to the conclusion that we're a part of some crazyass magical network shit.
so even if he does come home, we have gang activities as our alibi.

[eras]

can't we be working on a school project instead of doing something illegal and ridiculous

[enrages]

he wouldn't believe that.

[eras]

i worry about you that gang activities is more believable a thing for you to be doing than a school project
or does this say more about your father than you

[enrages]

i'm





not
actually sure...

[eras]

don't join a gang karson

[enrages]

i'm more likely to get killed in gang violence than to join a gang and partake in gang violence.

[eras]

don't get killed in gang violence either karson
actually
just avoid gang violence altogether