Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[eras]

if you die who will be soulbond leader
is there a chain of succession going on here

[enrages]

i think octavia, on virtue of being co-jesus, would be the next soulbond leader.
which means you are all now actively invested in my continued survival.

[eras]

i think we can safely say my continued adherence to group law hinges on your survival yes
i mean if you do die i suppose i will just sort of do my own thing

[enrages]

yeah, that's legit.
if i weren't leader, i wouldn't want to be part of the group either.
it'd be a really shitty group without me at the head.
all groups are shitty without me as leader.

[eras]

there are other people i'd be willing to follow and trust implicitly!
travis for example
and i trust soren although i don't think anyone else does
but i can't say the same of certain other people as of yet

[enrages]

what about you?
could you leader?

[eras]

aside from octavia nearly everyone i've met over the network has liked me to some degree or another
i've never had an issue working with others or persuading someone to work with me
so i suppose i could
though i have never felt the need to be a leader nor have one

[enrages]

okay, if i die, you have to beat up octavia and become the leader.
it's been decided.

[eras]

i have to do what now

[enrages]

you have to take power by force.

[eras]

i'm not sure i want to beat anyone up in order to stage a hostile takeover!
also i think that would make people a lot less likely to agree to listen to me honestly
also isn't she your friend

[enrages]

she's like a lion.
if you punch her in the snout and establish your authority, she'll obey you.

[eras]

did you punch octavia in the face?

[enrages]

i headbutted alan.
that counts.

[eras]

b/c they're dating??

[enrages]

yeah.



fuck, they need a couple name.
talan?
octan?

[eras]

octan sounds like an octopus
tavlan or talan sounds betterish i guess

alan seems really nice from the short conversation i had with him!

[enrages]

he's my psychomurder friend.
when he's not threatening violence, he's pretty legit.


we're going with tavlan, tho.

[eras]

should i be concerned at all
i think i am just going to be generally concerned about you in general to save myself effort at this point

0kay
was there a reason they needed a ship name
are you making a shipping chart

[enrages]

alright, that's acceptable too.
keeping me alive is a great idea.

shipping names are always necessary.

[eras]

okay that pretty much begs the question:
who else do you have shipping names for

[enrages]

no other friends of mine are dating, so i don't have anything.








unless
do you know people that i also know who are dating???
deets deets deets deets i need the gossip soulbond leadership-- give me romance deets.

[eras]

um
not really!!
i don't think anyone i know is actually dating anyone else
and i've seen exactly one person get teased about a crush but that was just trolling
i guess to know you would have to do a relationship poll on the network or something

[enrages]

ugh that ruins all the fun about romance shit, though.
just
outright ASKING.
so not the right way to gossip.

[eras]

then sorry i have no gossip
travis isn't dating anyone nor are any of the other people i regularly hang out with