Karson Valenti's Voice Mail

[enrages]

"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.

If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"

*beeeep*

Comments

[counterclock]

what do you have against it its your name isnt it

text;

[enrages]

wait there are two assholes who type like that?!!??!!
what the fuck?
which one is sollux?
thats the name me and octavia remember.

also awesome, thanks.

[enrages]

my NAME is KARSON.
or carson.
we don't actually know.
I CHOOSE KARSON.
not some bullshit karkat beepbeepmeow bullshit.

text;

[eras]

well, yes?
soren is sollux.
we have shared memories i can verify that!
he even knows my name
back when i was a robot i mean
idk what davin's name was

np!!

text;

[enrages]

are they related or something???
why the fuck do they write the same??

text;

[eras]

because they do
there are slight differences in typing actually
davin uses the gemini sign for capital i's sometimes

text;

[enrages]

what the fucks a gemini sign

text;

[eras]

♊ <--that?

[counterclock]

beep

text;

[enrages]

that's so much dumber than the ii thing.

[counterclock]

beep

[counterclock]

meow

text;

[eras]

i still say that way of typing is nice
i mean
in like a comfortingly familiar sort of way

[enrages]

im gonna punch you.

[counterclock]

id let you take the shot if i thought you could do it

text;

[enrages]

YOU DO NOT TELL HIM THIS
but
yeah.
i guess so.
i just
it's really blurry and i can't remember specifics.
but i spent so many hours reading that shitty font?
and it wasnt bad.

[enrages]

i'm gonna teach my dog to punch you.

[counterclock]

crab would never punch anyone hes a gentleman

[enrages]

i'll get kanti to punch you.

[counterclock]

too fuckin late

text;

[eras]

hahaha
i promise not to tell him this thing

i think you should give him more of a chance!
and vice versa
but i'm not going to get involved really so it's just more general advice

text;

[enrages]

yeah, yeah.
okay, i'lll
i guess i can try it.


how do i disengage pissbaby mode?

[enrages]

sorry about that by the way.

text;

[eras]

i would start by not calling him pissbaby

text;

[enrages]

not gonna happen.