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Karson Valenti's Voice Mail
"NO, WAL-MART, I'M NOT GOING TO RETURN YOUR FUCKING CALLS. I APPLIED TO YOUR SHITTYASS STORE, LIKE, A GODDAMN YEAR AGO. I DON'T. WANT. THE. JOB. STOP CALLING.
If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"
*beeeep*
If you're not Wal-Mart or a telemarketer, just leave a message, and I'll probably get back to you eventually. Seriously, though, this is 2012. Why the hell aren't you using something that's suitably futuristic and technologically advanced, like text messages or email? Who the fuck calls people anymore, I me---"
*beeeep*
text;
Three MONTHS?
Are you serious. H8ly f8ck. Uh. Ok8y.
Have you tried:
1) 8etter pillows
2) MORE pillows
3) asking me to put you to sleep again even though you got night terrors or whatever
4) sleeping with some8ody (>:::;D)
5) getting sleeping sickness
6) sleeping on a pile of something (THIS ONE IS GR8 I RECOMMEND THIS)
7) I'm out of ideas
8) o8lig8tory #8 option.
Seriously sleeping on piles is GOLDEN. Try that.
Sleep on a pile of PEOPLE even! Like a puppy. WHO LOVES PUPPIES? YOU DO. YES YOU DOES. YOU DOES!!!!!!!!
text;
2) yes
3) fuck no
4) shut the hell up
5) wow
6) what?????
7) wow
8) wow
what the hell do you mean piles????
text;
Firstly I meant sleep with some8ody without 8oinking them! It is actually pretty restful. Unless they h8ppen to yell a8out distur8ing things sup8r loudly in th8ir sl88p. And even then it is STILL pretty sweet!
8ut the piles thing is like.
I mean actual literal piles of things.
Like when I slept on my pile of loot? 8EST NIGHT'S SLEEP OF MY FUCKING LIFE I SWEAR TO GOD.
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I JESUS PROMISE (!!!!!!!!) that when I slept on my loot pile it was the most incredi8le and restful sleep I have ever experienced.
And then I tested with a pile of pillows and that worked too! Seriously.
text;
how many pillows does it take to classify as a "pile"?
text;
May8e like. 8ulk the pile up with other soft things?
Like towels and clothes and. Junk.
text;
gonna try this shit.
if it doesn't work out, i'm blaming you forever.
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Sleep tight, dude. ::::Oc